DOWN BY NEXT WEEKE.ND JENNIFER: MAYBE YOU'VE FELT SOME OF IT. THE HOLIDAYS CAN CREATE STRESS AND ANXIETY AND FOR SOME EVEN DEPRESSION. THAT'S THE TICOP FOR MARANYLD PEACE OF MIND. JOINING US, DR. NEED DA GOULD. JOINING US FROM JOHNS HOPKINS SCHOOLF O MEDICINE. GOOD MORNING. THANKS FOR JOINING US. >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. JENNIFER: THERE'SO S MUCH PRESSURE THIS TIME OF YEAR. EVERYBODY IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY. BUT NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. >> THAT IS TRUE. THE HOLIDAYS ARE STRESSFUL, AND I THINK THERE ARE SO MANY EXPECTATIONS AND PRESSURE THAT WE PUT ON OURSELVES, AND THEY'RE ALSO REALLY RO MANT SIZED, AS YOU DESCRIBED IT. WE ASPIRE TO FEEL A PARTICULAR WAY. WERY T TO CREATE THAT IDEAL AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT FEASIBLE. JENNIFER: THE PANDEMICAS H ADDED TO THE LEVEL ANXIETY, MAYBE SEEING PEOPLEOU Y THINK YOU SHOULD SEE AND MAYBE YOU'RE NOT QUITE READY TO SEE OR THE WHOLE FAMILY DYNAMIC SITUATION. >> ABSOLUTELY. SO IN ADDITION TO JUST OUR REGULAR STRESS, THERE'S THAT ANXIETY, THE FEAR OF GROUP GATHERINGS AND KEEPING EVERYO NE SAFE, KIND OF TSHI CONSTANT SENSE OF UNPREDICTABILITY AND UNCERTAINTY. AN D,ALSO, IN ADDITION, I'D ADD JUST A SENSE OF GRIEF, YOU KNOW. THERE HAVE BNEE LOSS OF LOVED ONES, FINANCIAL LOSSES, AND A LOSS OF JUST THEAY W THINGS WERE AND ALL OF THAT CONTRIBUTES TO OUR DISTRESS. JENNIFER: YOU JUST HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD THERE FOR A LOT OF FAMILIES. IT'S NOT ABOUT GETTING TOGETHER. IT'S ABOUT WHO ISN'T THERE ANYMORE. >> ABSOLUTE.LY UM-HMM. JENNIFER: SO WHAT CAN PEOEPL DO TO LIGHTEN THE LOAD FOR THEMSELVES THIS TIME OF YEAR? >> YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING, YOU KNOW. I SAY FOCUS ON SELF-CARE, BUT THERO INY IS THE TIMES WE NEED TO PRACTICE SELF-CARE THE MOST, WE TEND TO PRACTICE THE LET.AS BUT REALLY, YOU KNOW, TRYING TO SEE WHAT HELPS YOU REELFU, YOU KNOW. EXERCISE, GETTING ADEQUATE SLEEP, SOME SORT OF MINDFULNESS OR RELAXATION, CALLING ON YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT AS A PLACE TO START. BUT THEN ALSO REALLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT'SN I YOUR CONTROLND A CONSIDER SIMPLIFYING SOME THINGS IF YOU'RE ABLE TO. I THINK I'D ALSO ADD, YOU KNOW, DON'T COMPARE THIS YEAR TO OTHER YEARS. THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT, PERHAPS. BUT IT CAN STILL BE BEAUTIFUL IN ITS OWN WAY. BUT, YOU KNOW, I THINK IF PEOPLE NOTICE THAT YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONES ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY FUNCTIONING BECAUSE OF SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION, YOU KNOW, THE STRESS IS REALLY INTERFERING WITH YOUR LIFE, THEN OF COURSE REACH OUTND A GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP. JENNIFER: YOU TALKED ABOUT SIMPLIFICATION. THAT'S SOMETHING TO DIVE INTO A LITTLE BIT. FOR INSTANCE, MAYBE IF YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MAKES ALL THE PIES, JUST BUY ONE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ALL THAT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF TO ACTUALLY DO ALLHE T WORK. >> ABSOLUTELY. AND IT'S HARD TO DO. IT'S HARD TO TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. IT'S HARD TO BREAK SOME TRADITIONS. IT'S HARD TO MAKE CHANGE. BUT START SMALL, EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAY. IF YOU MAKE FIVE PIES, THIS YEAR MAKE FOUR OR THREE. AND THOSE LITTLE CHANGES CAN MAKE REALLY BIG DIFFERENCES. JENNIFER: HOW ABOUT KNOWING WHEN IT'S TIME TO REACH OUT AND ASK FOR LPHE. MAYBE ASK SOMEBODY SEEL TO MAKE THE PIE OR SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THE DECORATING OR WHATEVER IT IS IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NORMALLY DO THAT YOU CAN'T MUSTER UP THE ENERGY TOO D THIS ARYE. >> UM-HMM, ABSOLUTELY. SO I THINK, YOU KNOW, LOONGKI FOR SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY, OF SADNESS, OF STRESS WHERE YOU'RE FEELING LIKE I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN OR YOU'RE NOT YROU NORMAL SELF, REACH OUT FOR OTHERS. THAT CAN BE NICE FOR URGS TO GET SOME HELP. IT CAN ALSO BE NICE FOR OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ENJOY HELPING. JENNIFER: I HEARD ONE TIME THAT YOU SHOULD ELIMINATE THE WORD "SHOULD" FROM YOUR LIFE. ALL THE THINGS YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DO. WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT? >> YEAH. YOU KNOW, WHEN WE HAVE THESE EXPECTATIONS, YOU KNOW, I SHOULD BE DOING THIS, I SHOULD BE DOING THAT, AND THEN WE CAN'T MEET THOSE EXPECTATIONS, THEN WE BEGIN TO FEEL TERRIBLE. AND SO IFE W CAN LOOK AT THINGS AS PREFERENCES, IT WOULD BE NICE IF THIS WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY, BUT IT CAN ALSO TURN OUT THIS WAY AND BE FINE. THEN WE DON'TUT P PRESSURE O N OURSELVES AND BECOME SO SELF-DEP KATING WHEN THINGS DON'T GO THE WAYE W WANT THEM TO GO. JENNIFER: THAT IS GREAT ADVICE. TH