Empathy
Willow Brook Elementary' s November Character Trait
Monthly Character Traits
This month we are talking about the social-emotional skill of Empathy.
We are using this definition at school:
Empathy: the ability to understand and connect to the feelings of another.
Empathy is a crucial skill for being in community with others and a powerful skill to develop in personal and professional relationships. We are focusing on a few key pieces of Empathy: knowing how we feel (and having language to describe those feelings!), understanding what others are feeling, and listening to others well so that we can connect in more meaningful ways! We will reflect on powerful images that will inspire conversations about emotions, connection, and friendship.
What is Empathy?
Family Conversation Starters
Trading Places Activity:
Have a conversation over a meal tonight about what it would feel like to be in each other’s places. Have each person try to answer some of these questions about what it would be like to be every other person at the table: What are your biggest challenges? What do you want? What do you need? What feeling do you feel most often? What makes your feel happy?
Empathy Questions for younger children:
- How do you know what you are feeling? How can you tell how someone else is feeling?
- When do you feel most excited? Most upset? Most happy? Most sad?
- How do you show Empathy towards your friends when they are sad?
- What are things others might do when they’re sad, worried or frustrated? What might they say?
Family Temperature Check
Decide this week on a time and place to do a weekly Family Temperature Check. Sit together as a family and eliminate any distractions. Ask each family member, “how are you feeling today?” Practice active listening skills as family members each take a turn to talk about how they are feeling. When someone shares a challenging feeling, instead of jumping in to provide advice, take time to listen and use empathic statements like:
- “What has that been like for you?”
- “I’m sorry you are going through this.”
- “That sounds really hard for you.”
- “It makes me feel ____ to hear that happened.”
- “What do you need right now?”
To start, you can use a simple check-in system like, “How are you doing on a scale of 1-5 today?” As you get good at answering questions like that, you can continue to develop your emotional vocabulary and vulnerability as we family with more complex sharing!
Have You Filled a Bucket Today" Lesson (Grades K-2)
How Full is Your Bucket? (15-20 minutes)
This activity is based on the book Have You Filled a Bucket Today? You can read the book as a precursor to the activity, but you don’t have to.
Share with students that everyone has an invisible bucket and that, when good things happen to us, our buckets are filled. When bad things happen, our bucket is emptied. People with full buckets have an easier time showing Kindness, helpfulness, patience, understanding, and cooperation.
Have students practice Empathy for themselves and others by carrying around their own “bucket” (this could just be a small bag per student) around the classroom. Each bag should start with a few abundant items such as balls of newspaper, post its, math manipulatives – whatever you have a bunch of in the classroom. Some of the items should also be on the floor around the room or carpet area.
As students walk around with their bags, call out various things that may happen throughout the day. Some examples might include:
- You had to miss breakfast
- Your teacher said “good morning” and gave you a high five
- Your best friend didn’t come to school today
- You couldn’t find your favorite book in the library
- You got to choose the class brain break
- The teacher called on you and you didn’t know the answer in that moment
- You got to help a friend with their classwork because you did it correctly
- You sang a song during music class
If students think this item would fill their bucket, they pick an item off the floor and place it in their bag. If it would empty their bucket, have them take an item out and place it on the floor.
Periodically stop and ask students to reflect with a partner:
- How would you be feeling with your bucket right now?
- What might you do or say?
- How do you think your partner is feeling?
- What might help fill their bucket?
After some time, you can have students offer their own ideas for bucket filling and bucket emptying items. Make sure everyone exercises Cooperation and Respect by cleaning up the room together!
Empathy Definition and Conversation Starters for Morning Meetings (Grades 3-4)
Empathy: the ability to understand and connect to the feelings of another.
Empathy is an important skill for creating connected and kind communities. It is critical to our relationships both personal and professional. There is a huge need for Empathy in our world because, as anxiety increases in our culture, Empathy decreases. Even though we have lots of digital connections, we need a lot of training on in-person communication and understanding! So, we are working to develop a few key skills in order to live more empathetic lives.
Conversation Starters
- Empathy is about understanding how somebody else is feeling. It is about switching places and perspectives with them to imagine what they’re going through. Share with one another about a time when you wished someone had shown more Empathy for you.
- Some people say that Empathy is “feeling with people.” What could it mean to feel “with” someone? How can that be hard?
- Empathy requires a level of mindfulness that helps us be aware and notice how others are acting or speaking. Only then can we practice empathy. What are ways that we might practice mindfulness to become better aware of those around us? Ideas may include deep breathing, checking in with your five senses, doing a body scan, art, mindful walking or eating, etc.
Questions You Could Ask
- What gets in the way of us showing Empathy to one another?
- What is the difference between sympathy and Empathy?
- What is a conflict that you had recently with someone? How do you think they were feeling and why may they have been feeling that way? How could you respond to that situation with empathy?
Empathy on the Playground! (Remember our Buddy Benches!)
Eye Spy Empathy Challenge
On the playground today, students will play the Empathy version of the timeless game of I Spy by watching for and intentionally imagining how the students and staff around them are feeling.
- Can you spy someone who’s lonely?
- Can you spy someone who’s frustrated?
- Can you spy someone who’s happy?
- Can you spy someone who’s shy?
- Can you spy someone who’s sad?
- Can you spy someone who’s confused?
Discussion:
- What other emotions can you identify in people on the playground? How can you tell?
- How does looking for these emotions help you build Empathy?
- What could you do to show Empathy to these different people?
Willow Brook Buddy Benches
Where are they located?
· There is one buddy bench on each of our 3 playgrounds
Why do we have Buddy Benches?
· To promote kindness, decrease loneliness, give kids a chance to make new friends, promote leadership and make our school a more welcoming and safe place to learn.
How do they work?
· If you are sitting on the bench: You are feeling lonely or left out and are looking for a friend. When someone asks you to play, join them!
· If you are NOT sitting on the bench but see someone who is: Ask your classmate on the buddy bench to play, and make a new friend today!
Reasons to sit on the Buddy Bench:
· You are new to our school
· You want make new friends
· Your friends aren’t at school that day
· Your friend is playing with someone else
· You want to play something different than what your friends is playing
CHECK OUT THESE VIDEOS FOR MORE INSIGHTS INTO EMPATHY
Empathy Reading List
Grades K-2
Hey, Little Ant by Phillip and Hannah Hoose
To squish or not, that is the question that opens up this dialogue between a kid and an ant. Expect this Empathy question, “If you were me and I were you, what would you want me to do?” to open up an interesting discussion.
Everyone by Christopher Silas Neal
Everyone has emotions! Feelings are universal no matter who you are or where you come from. Once students understand their feelings, they can begin to empathize with others when they realize that their friends and neighbors have those same feelings.
A Family Is a Family Is a Family by Sara O’Leary
This story celebrates all of the different ways a family may look. Children learn how to feel confident and proud of their family. It can also help children understand and build Empathy for families that don’t look like theirs.
You, Me and Empathy by Jayneen Sanders
Students will learn all about the different emotions associated with Empathy and how they can use Empathy and their feelings to connect with people. Throughout the story, Quinn shows an abundance of understanding, compassion, and kind
Grades 3-5
The Sandal Artist by Kathleen T. Pelley
As Roberto journeys on his quest to become a famous painter, he passes up the ordinary looking for extraordinary things to paint. Will stepping in to another man’s sandals while his are being re-soled give Roberto a glimpse at life through someone else’s perspective?
Stand in my Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy by Dr. Bob Sornson
Walk through the day with Emily and learn how it feels to notice the wants, needs, and desires of other people. Watch how Empathy changes the way Emily looks at and sees others.
The Potato Chip Champ: Discovering Why Kindness Counts by Maria Dismondy
Champ has everything and can’t get enough; Walter has very little yet always has a smile. Could Empathy help the two boys from different worlds find common ground beyond their love for baseball and potato chips?
Just My Luck by Cammie McGovern
Benny Barrows has hit a streak of bad luck. His best friend moved away and he still hasn’t found a new one at school, his father had an accident which Benny blames himself for, and he compares himself with his brother who has autism and a better biker rider than him. Benny is struggling at school and home so his mother encourages him to use his big heart to focus on helping others.
Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai
Ha spent years waiting for her father to return from the Vietnam War and months in refugee camps. Her family is forced to flee Saigon and move to Alabama where Ha struggles to learn a new language, live in a new land, and deal with cruel classmates. Readers will empathize with Ha as she faces adversity, heals from the pain of her past, and adjusts to her new life.
The Wall by Eve Bunting
A boy and his father visit the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, which his grandfather’s name is on. They visit the wall to pay their respect and remember him. The story captures the meaning of the memorial to the American people, especially to those who lost loved ones.
Mr. Quigley’s Keys by Barbara Gruener
Adapted from the real-life story of an unsung hero, Mr. Quigley’s Keys invites you to walk in the work shoes of a beloved handyman as he quietly jingles through the hallways, listening for ways to serve and connecting by heart.
Willow Brook Elementary School
Mr. Jason Nussbaum, Assistant Principal
Mrs. Jo Bruce, Family Resource Director
Mr. Dan Schwartz, School Counselor
Email: dschwartz@ortn.edu
Website: https://www.ortn.edu/willowbrook/
Location: 298 Robertsville Road, Oak Ridge, TN, USA
Phone: 865 425 3201