My father was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia; he lives with my husband and me. He has become very loud at home and is mean to my husband and me. He has pushed my husband a few times; my husband says he understands that Dad isn’t himself, but I don’t think we can handle this much longer. It has become increasingly difficult to take him out in public because of his behavior. Therefore, I feel that we have all become very isolated.
Dear Reader,
Frontotemporal dementia (also known as Pick’s Disease) affects the part of the brain that filters behavior. Individuals with FTD may no longer be able to feel empathy or sympathy and may no longer recognize what is socially acceptable.
Therefore, it is also quite common for individuals living with FTD to act in socially inappropriate ways. A formerly quiet and loving individual may begin directing profanity at family members or insults at strangers when in public. If not handled appropriately, behaviors can escalate to physical aggression, usually towards the caregiver.
While these outbursts can be hurtful and upsetting to the caregivers and to those to whom the remarks are directed, the person with Frontotemporal dementia is unaware they are saying or doing anything inappropriate. If you have not spoken with your father’s physician, you need to do so immediately. Explain to him what is happening and question whether your father’s medication needs to be adjusted or if medication for anxiety would be helpful. He can also help you determine if, for all of your safety, the home setting is appropriate for your father’s level of care needs.
As your father’s caregivers, it will be helpful if you and your husband can follow these tips:
Don’t take his behavior or comments personally. Remember, it is the disease causing the behaviors. Your father has no control over what is happening.
Be empathetic. Listen and reassure him even when it seems he is being illogical.
Don’t argue. I have said this before and I’ll say it again – you will never win! If you need to walk away for a few minutes, do it.
Before you can “stop” his aggressive behavior, you must first determine the triggers. His behavior could be a result of physical factors (pain, illness, medications, fatigue), environmental factors (overstimulation or changes in routine), social/emotional factors (isolation, fear, boredom, frustration). Psychological factors (hallucinations, delusions, depression) and cognitive factors (trouble interpreting the world around them and language difficulties) can also contribute to aggressive behaviors. No matter the cause, this type of behavior is not safe for any one of you.
It’s imperative that everyone’s safety is ensured. Call 911 if necessary. If your loved one is acting violent because they feel threatened, seeing a person in uniform may help them feel safe as well as mitigate the scene. If you do call 911, make sure to tell responders the person has dementia, which causes them to act aggressively.
We are fortunate here in Anne Arundel County to have all of our police officers complete the Dementia Live training, so they have the necessary tools to deal with these situations.
As a caregiver, continue to educate yourself on this disease. We are fortunate to have the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine’s Frontotemporal Dementia and Young-Onset Dementias Clinic nearby. You can contact them at 410-502-2981 (https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/geriatric_neuro/frontotemporal_dementia). You can also check out the Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (www.theaftd.org).
And remember, you and your husband need to take care of yourselves. Join a support group. Make time for each other. Eat nutritiously. Exercise. Get enough rest.
