By: Sabrina Klindworth
For one of my classes during Spring Quarter, I had to listen to an episode of Ezra Klein’s podcast, The Ezra Klein Show, called “The loneliness epidemic”. During this podcast episode, Klein discusses loneliness with Dr. Vivek Murphy, the former Surgeon General under Obama, about his experiences with loneliness both personal and professional as well as what we can do about it. I was really struck listening to this podcast as it put words on a feeling I’ve felt ever since starting college. Loneliness is something that a lot of people face everyday but isn’t something that people generally talk about. However loneliness has come into more of a spotlight during the COVID-19 pandemic due to people isolating at home and not interacting with those outside of their households like they normally would. Some people even feel less lonely right now due to everyone talking about how lonely they are, ironically us all being lonely can actually make us feel less alone. So where exactly does loneliness come from? Loneliness is a feeling that can arise from the lack of deep connections with others. Anyone can feel lonely, whether as a temporary emotion or a more permanent one. When I started going to college in a new state away from my family, I felt lonely since I didn’t know anyone and I was struggling to make friends. It wasn’t until I was able to build deeper connections with some of my friends that I began to stop feeling lonely at school. However, a lack of deep connections isn’t the only cause of loneliness, you can also feel lonely from lack of contact with others. On a daily basis we interact with a ton of people without thinking about it; we nod and smile when we pass others on the street and interact with any sales clerks at a store. These little daily interactions begin to take a toll when we are staying inside all day and not able to see anyone else. So here are some tips, based on the podcast and my own experience, on how to deal with loneliness, both in and out of self-isolation. Tip 1: Start prioritizing social interactions If you’re busy all the time like me, it can be hard to find the time to socialize with others. For example, choosing to do homework on the weekends may help you get good grades but it can also lead to feelings of loneliness or being left out if you see friends posting pictures of them together. It takes time to find the right balance between the two, but once you find it you can have the best of both worlds. If state regulations allow and you feel comfortable, you can make plans with friends to grab coffee and catch up or go on a socially distant walk together. Just don’t forget to wear your mask! This gives you time to socialize with others without taking time away from studying. For a longer break, you could make dinner with friends, watch a movie, or plan a game night, all of which can be done through Zoom. Puzzles, board games, or video game nights are also fun ways to connect with others! These are even things you and your friends can plan to do once a week so that even when your week is super busy, you know that you have a designated relaxation time with friends. If you are lucky enough to be isolating with roommates or family, taking the time to do one of these activities together can help bring you closer together. A fun twist is to eat dinner all together if you usually don’t or work together to make a new recipe none of you have tried before. Either way, making the time to see someone other than yourself for a little bit will give you the social connection we need as humans to curb our loneliness. Tip 2: Technology can help, until it doesn’t There is no better time than now to call, text, and video chat our friends and loved ones. There are a ton of resources to utilize online such as Zoom, Houseparty, Netflix Party, Discord, and more allowing you to talk, text, screen your share, and keep connected with the people we care about. These different forums can allow you to host a digital movie night or game night or can be used to have a cooking night, where you and a friend both make the same recipe together over Facetime. You could also use these services to catch up with what friends have been doing in isolation, sharing ideas, tips or baking recipes. However, despite all the good that tech can do, it can actually start to hurt our relationships with others if you never have in person contact. I know being stuck in my apartment for classes this Fall Quarter has been super tough since I don’t have a roommate and spend hours alone. Calling home once a week, Facetiming my best friend back home, and seeing my partner have been some of the best ways I’ve been getting human connection the past couple weeks. However staying inside all the time with no physical human interaction can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. I miss walking across campus and seeing different people going to their classes too, it may not be the same but the grocery store gives me a little bit of that feeling back. Seeing other people living their lives, makes us feel less alone in our own lives. So take a walk, get out of your space, and reach out to someone to chat about life, it helps! Tip 3: Help others! This can be through different volunteer experiences or through anyone you know. Helping people was noted as the best cure for loneliness in Klein’s podcast since it helps you build deeper relationships with others. It also helps take the focus off of you, since loneliness makes you focus more on yourself. Loneliness can also make you feel worthless but helping people helps give you a purpose which can help make you feel like you matter (which you do!). It may be hard to go out and volunteer while staying home but there are still plenty of ways to help out others. You could offer to get groceries for those in your community that are unable to or ask your family/roommates what you can do to make their lives a little easier. You can also help contact people about going to vote or help text voters as outreach for different props and candidates in your area. If you do choose to help others outside of your household, whether in your neighborhood or at a food bank, please follow social distancing guidelines and wear a mask to protect yourself and those around you. Humans are social creatures by nature and although we all like to think we can be independent, the truth is we need to talk to other people. If you are feeling lonely, you should always reach out to someone you trust and talk about it with them. If you don’t have someone you can trust, please reach out to the National Institute of Mental Health. A crisis hotline can be reached by texting “HELLO” to 741741 and you can call 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 to reach the distress hotline. If you feel crushing loneliness know that there is always an upside after the down, a light at the end of the tunnel. Darkness doesn’t last so if you feel like you don’t have any close relationships, you take the time to build them; there is no limit on friends. So let’s reach out to others and help fight loneliness together. If you want to listen to the podcast for yourself, it’s available on Spotify or at the link here.
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January 2024
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