Divorce Preparation Checklist - What You Need to Know

How is Illinois’ stay-at-home order affecting marriages? If the statistics coming out of China are any indication, the number of divorce filings in the United States will definitely spike once the order is lifted.

Attorneys Michael Ian Bender and Molly E. Caesar, co-founding partners of Chicago’s Caesar & Bender, LLP, have already noticed a substantial increase in calls to their office from men and women seeking information and advice about filing for divorce.

“We weren’t surprised by the number of inquiries,” said Bender, a retired Domestic Relations Judge of the Circuit Court of Cook County. “The order to stay home is causing many husbands, wives and partners to face the reality of just how worn-out, sad and trapped they feel by being tied to the other person,” he added. “They are searching for relief, because everyone has the desire to be happy and live the life that they rightfully deserve.”

“You can only imagine what it’s like for couples who were contemplating divorce or who were unhappy before the COVID-19 crisis,” said Caesar. “They are in a confined space, under the same roof 24/7, and their lives have been disrupted,” she added. “Many are so serious about their decision to go their separate ways that they are asking us if there is anything they can do right now, while being ordered to stay at home, to get things in place. And, the answer is yes.”

To guide those who are seriously considering divorce, Caesar and Bender have developed the following check list of things that you can do now:

Have a Discussion

If you are able to have a civil conversation with your spouse regarding your desire for a divorce, an open and honest discussion would be a good place to start. This would be the time to talk about how assets could be divided, future living arrangements, parenting rights, etc. The only caveat to this would be if you are concerned about your safety, in which case you should consider an order of protection, which can be obtained even while the stay at home order is in effect. Also, if you have concerns that your spouse would start hiding assets or doing other things behind your back, then a conversation should be avoided.

Make a List of All Assets

In addition to making a list of all assets, you should also include the associated values, even if it is only an estimate. You need to know exactly what the assets are, where they are, and how they are titled. Include all assets, even if titled solely in your spouse’s name and regardless of how the asset was acquired. Make a note if you believe the asset is non-marital, pre-marital, acquired by gift, inheritance, etc. Do the best you can and do not stress if you are unable to find out all of this information. Items on this list should include:

• Real Estate
• Timeshares
• Bank Accounts (yours, your spouse’s and any joint accounts)
• Investment Accounts (Stocks/Bonds)
• Retirement Accounts (Pensions and 401K)
• Business Interests
• Life Insurance (whole life and term policies)
• Cars, Boats, Jewelry, Art
• Lawsuits (pending worker’s comp, personal injury, etc.)
• Children’s Assets (i.e. College Savings 529 Accounts)
• Intellectual Property (patents, copyrights)
• Stock Options

Make a List of Debts

A list of debts is just as important as the list of assets. The type of debt, lender, balance and whether it is a jointly held debt or individual are all important. This list should include:

• Mortgage
• Home Equity Loans
• Car Loans
• Student Loans
• Bank Loans and Lines of Credit
• Credit Cards (make a list of all credit cards and what is owed on each)
• Tax Debt
• Personal and Business Loans
• Outstanding Medical Bills

Gather Documents

To be as prepared as possible when meeting with an attorney, the following non-exhaustive list of documents should be gathered for the previous 3-year period:

• Pre-nuptial Agreement (if one was signed)
• Titles to all Real Estate and Cars
• Tax Returns (W-2, K9, 1099, etc.)
• Trusts, Wills or other Estate Planning Documents (whether executed by you or your spouse, or in which you are a beneficiary)
• Paycheck Stubs
• Employment Contracts
• Credit Card Statements
• Mortgage Statements
• Real Estate Tax Bills
• Bank Statements
• Retirement Account Statements
• Health Insurance Policy
• Life Insurance Policies
• Car Insurance
• Leases
• Safety Deposit Box Information
• Social Security Cards (for yourself and your children)
• Children’s IEP Reports
• School Records
• Children’s Birth Certificates

Create a Spreadsheet of Living Expenses

This spread sheet should include all living expenses for you, your spouse and your children including:

• Mortgage/Rent
• Real Estate Taxes
• Homeowner Association Fees
• Homeowner’s Insurance
• Utilities
• Groceries
• Dining Out
• Car Payments
• Car Insurance
• Gas
• Cell Phone
• Internet and Cable
• Health Insurance
• Out of Pocket Medical Expenses
• Life Insurance Premiums
• Health Club Membership
• Country Club Membership
• Religious Organization Membership
• Clothing/Grooming
• Pet Expenses
• Extra-curricular Activities for the Kids
• Nanny and/or Childcare
• Education Expenses (tuition, fees, labs, etc.)
• Camp
• Therapy (for children and/or yourself)
• Vacations

Other Things to Consider:

• Request a copy of your credit report
• Get a P.O. Box to receive personal mail
• Create a new Email Account (for correspondence related to the divorce)
• Make a list of logins and passwords for joint accounts (banks, credit cards, etc.)
• Open a checking and/or savings account in your own name
• Take photos or videos of each room in the home and anything kept in storage units to document all personal property
• Keep a journal (hard copy and on the computer/phone) with dates/times to document such things as who is doing what for the kids (driving them to appointments, cooking meals, etc.), personal information that your spouse might have shared with you, episodes of abuse (physical and emotional), etc.
• Be careful about anything you post on social media. Assume that anything you post will be used in court
• If you or your spouse is using cash to make purchases, pay expenses, etc., keep track of it, especially if they are significant amounts or if you think your spouse might be hiding cash

For more information, please contact Caesar & Bender, LLP at 312-236-1500 or visit www.CaesarBenderLaw.com